world, interrupted.

I will never understand

Why I have to worry from miles away

That my little brothers aren’t safe

That my parents might fade away

Like they’ve been left out in the sun too long

Because the world doesn’t wade in darkness

It jumps straight in

Owning up to sin

It sharpens its pins

Like pencils

Until we’ve all got lead poisoning

From all of the overly erased plans we’ve read

And the No. 2 point blank shit we’re fed

I will never understand

Why I answered the phone to a frantic mother

Informing me that my sister’s middle school

Was swarmed by police cars

Reds and blues

Because three young men were planning a mass murder for the Halloween dance

Just by chance

My mother went to pick up her daughter early

Because her instincts were somewhere between full and empty

And the officers pushed her away with no information

Because let’s face it

All they want is some action

even if it means lost futures and bloody basketball courts

 I will never understand

Why 2 weeks later

I picked up the phone to the same frantic mother

Saying that my family had spent the afternoon in a hostile situation

In communication with the police station

When they were supposed to be at the dollar movies

But that everything was ok

Because they

An average family of five minus me

Were just driving down Menaul

Just headed to the mall

For some weekend nonsense

When a man began to make his steering wheel do a dance of death

Each gyration tumbled lanes

Selfish

Because he didn’t care that no one else could hear the music

And as my mom called in a harmless report

They pulled up their station wagon next to his

In a red light exchange

And then turned heads

For a red light exchange

As the man held up a gun

With the barrel staring down my mother

Only the glass tinted windows separating them from each other

Did he know that she has three kids

And a daughter away at school

That our family might be one of the only ones left

Not succumb to divorce statistics or dysfunctionalism

Did he know that his gun staring at my mother

Was the nastiest look he could’ve given

To someone hundreds of miles away

Because he

A selfish asshole

Could’ve ended her life today

He could’ve taken everything from my family

Those three young boys

Could’ve killed my little girl

Because they were too cowardly to ask her to the fucking dance instead

There would’ve been baby doll futures with bullets in their heads

I will never understand

Why we live interrupted

Because no one in this goddamn world can finish their fucking sentence

The only way we can function is by interjecting, interrupting

And ending abruptly

The only way we can survive is to make sure someone else is half alive

Though we know nothing about them

I refuse to let my generation

Continue in the quest to obliterate fullness

I will never understand

Why the world lives in fragments.

The Race.

Race: 1. A competition between runners, horses, vehicles, boats, etc., to see which is the fastest in covering a set course.

2. Each of the major divisions of humankind, having distinct physical characteristics.

I hate races

I am tired of running

I have hated it since the days of laps around the sixth grade track

Because in the end it only leaves me

Breathless

Because I wish to keep my opinions to myself

Even though you trash talk like it’s for your own health

I digress

While you rest on an issue related argument to define you

One issue

While I would rather walk the track

Because if you win the race it will be because you took a shortcut through the mud

 And slung some on the way

I hate races

Because we feel like we must assimilate mathematics

In our schematics

That division must always be a common denominator

While common ground and love always cancel out

We’d rather live in doubt of who we are

Because of what someone else says about how we are painted

About how the color of our skin makes us overrated

Or outdated

Or hated

Because whenever there’s a race involved

Someone always has to win

Bathing in their sin

Scathing in their skin

Because they’d rather win

Than play by the golden rule

Because the things that separate us are the things that degrade us

We could be the nation we’ve always wanted to be

if we’d just take a minute to listen

There’s nothing explicit about believing in something

 I cast my vote

I played my game

I placed my bet

I showed my shame

And yet I’m damn glad it’s over

Because I’m ready to wash my hands

Need some orbit for the dirty mouths

need someone to understand

that a political opinion

is not all I possess

but I know what I believe in

and I know progress

I’m proud of what I chose

Of my politic prose

And as for those who’ve got a problem

Keep your complaints in comfort

Because my ears are sacred

Against American hatred.

Want Ad

I am looking for a guy

Who will look me in the eye

Who won’t clothe himself in lies

Who will catch every fly I throw

I know

This is a deafening mission

Because in all reality

We are somebody’s needle in their own giant haystack

I am the girl

Who spends $20 on books she doesn’t need

I am the girl

Who never eats but always feeds

I am the girl

Who marches Doc Martens and clearance dresses

With short red tresses

And lush red lipstick

And musical red blood that comes through my heart like Grand Central

Because I

Am the girl

Who keeps loneliness

Like debt

While collectors beat down my door for the nothing I have

I never pick up tabs

Because I am a penny lover

With nothing more to give than my two cents

Even though my heart is rich in every sense

I am looking for a guy

Who won’t laugh when I reply

Can I pay in change?

Because people change

And rearrange

And feng shui

Like we’re all furniture

Never permanently placed

I am looking for a guy

Who loves Jesus and Friends re-runs

Whose smile gets me undone

Who can get me dancing with one touch of a fingertip

His words drip down his strawberry lip

As he grinds wine poetry

We’re in synergy

As we break out in a living room duet

I’m just looking for respect

Because I’ve always gone from place to place

Week to week

And now I’m just weak to weak

All I seek

Is love that doesn’t live in cardboard boxes

Or charge expensive rent

 I want somewhere to stay

Not somewhere I can say

I just went

And came back

I want stacks of other people’s demands

So I can compare mine to theirs and see what I’m doing wrong

I want love songs

Played on out of tune guitars

And someone to share sunrises and moonsets with

I finish fifth

Instead of first

But I will be reimbursed

Because I have worked this hard

Gotten this far

There’s gotta be someone

Because

I am the girl

Who doesn’t give up

Don’t make decisions in Solo cups

I am the girl

Who’s looking for a guy

Hope he’ll reply

When I write poems in the sky

And the stars start to dream for me

I’ll keep storming

Until he sees

So please

Don’t penalize me for paying in pennies

Because all I’ve got to give

Is my two cents

Even though my heart is rich in every sense**

68 songs.

I am 68 songs

My feet hit the floor and earth greets my toes

Good Morning Starshine, the earth says hello

As if to say we missed you while you were sleeping

I brush my teeth with melodies each morning

And wrap my tongue around lyrics

Strong. Like mint.

Because I am a mix tape

68 songs

Because 69 would be dirty

Each line delicately describes what any man might get himself into

By simply saying I want to know you

Because in one meet cute

He’d be mute as he listens to each song I play

I’d say today

I am Shania Twain as I dance on tables

And whip my hair

Man! I feel like a woman

Then I’d promptly shift gears

Music for more than ears

As I whisper Iron & Wine like lovers champagne

And my American mouth sends Flightless birds to the moon

He’d swoon

Like a boy with a coin

Then he’d realize that it’s that time of month as I change my selection

And begin to weep

All over my guitar and burn pictures

Because T-swift taught me how to tell any guy about your past love life

Because when he says “Why didn’t Taylor Swift ever think she might’ve been the problem?”

I’d say “She just ISN’T, OK?!”

My neurotic tendencies would take over as I turn into Joan Jett

Rock and Roll leaves no regrets

And I feel like a total badass

Even though on the inside

I’m a mainstream poser hipster

Because somebody made it uncool to like Ke$ha and Sufjan

Wish the stereotypes were gone

Because I am a woman in 68 songs

Clair de Lune writes out red sixteenth notes that course through my veins

While I live showtunes; no day but today

And I can’t help but sing Madonna every time I start to pray

Then I get my Christian rap on with a little Lecrae

I am a Mumford and Sons light lover

And a Christina Aguilera fighter

Riding in a Death Cab for Cutie

While I’m a Say Anything writer

I’ve got Bright Eyes

For an owl city

While James Blunt whines out how I’m more than pretty

I’m a city with bright lights

Sara Bareilles

As the Vegas lightposts bend down to say they’re jealous

I may not have 68 years

68 dreams

68 fears

Or 68 schemes

But I am 68 songs

A sacred playlist

And you’ll know me

If you just listen*

the hero and the heart.

You hope to be remembered as a hero

As I look into your eyes and they spell out panels

Each pupil dark from pencil lines that create storyboards

with extra ink running even deeper because there was just too much to say
so story runs down the sides

Your eyes are oceans

Moats protecting the justice judicials

The super officials

The heroes

Because you wake up each morning

and put on courage like cologne

you are steeped in thoughts of how you’re alone

but you continue to wear truth like Technicolor tights

don't let yourself be any less than right
you wear love instead of a fight
you wear your heart on your sleeve
and that nice guy smile

I could write onomatopoeias for the inner battles you fight

As you punch out lights

And rumors
and hype

You think that nice guys finish last

But the truth is
the girls just move too fast because they're scared
to be treated correctly

A girl doesn’t think she deserves a vigilante

Because we damsels in distress

Live image depressed

Thinking that we’ll only ever get snatched up by villains

But I am the kind of girl

Who won't pass up the signal

Because when the alarm sounds

I’ll be the first on deadly ground
the girl I used to be isn't around
I'm no damsel, I am found

Because I knew it from the moment I saw your sweet disposition
you light up my days
like a Green Lantern mission

I would be Gwen Stacy 

If you’d be my Spiderman

A dynamic duo

Lois Lane and Superman

I would gladly be the woman watching you save days

And we’d live in a comic craze

Because behind every hero is a super lady friend

Behind every hero is heart

And no mutant professor could tear us apart

No evil plot, no underground bomb threat

Because I’d risk it all with no regret

Because you’ve always wanted nothing more than to be a hero

Well you are to me

though you never notice me

I’m the Invisible Woman

But I would sue storms for your attention

My Wonder Woman lasso could cut the tension

Because you

Are constantly caught up in

Catwoman calamity

While I sit back and listen

Trying to fulfill a mission

Of heart

Because you’re my hero

Whether you know it or not

We could be on fire

Human torch hot

And I may not own every issue

Of everything about you

But I’d gladly collect your memories

And put them in plastic to make sure they stay pristine

Because I say what I mean
 When I say

 I'd hide you in the back of the Hastings drawer
until I have the confidence to tell you what I see
That you’re a hero to me

And you can save my day anytime you’d like

till then I’ll take off on my bike

Pretending I don’t know how to fly

I’ll stay shy

And hope that one day

You’ll begin to read panel to panel

In my eyes
That you won't let yourself compromise
because you're amazing
you're a hero
and my heart's just in disguise**

The Plath Path

I'm on the Plath path
Head in the oven
Pushin' and shovin' on up to Jesus
to walk where Lady Lazarus walked
Ted Hughes ain't got nothin'
on the way my heart beats
to the flow
to the heat
of Sylvia
and her commission to rhyme
so sick it's a crime
not for feminists
or literary critics
or anyone who thinks Daddy is a happy rant about dancing on tiptoes
I'm on the Plath path out
to meet this lady upon poetic prisms
where we can chat about
the tulips, and the morning song, and the shitheads
who put us at the top
the Plath path out
to the countryside
where I'll ask why, Sylvia, did you fry?
We needed your stained glass eye
to shed some light on why people cry
flags of truce
dangling white and loose
till they tie it up in a noose
because no one will agree to disagree
but you were a little more creative, yeah?
baking the sweetest knowledge till it burned
too long on the fire charred rungs
I'm on the Plath path to show you
how your poetry drives me
bird out of a cage free
mad
like personal letters to carry on
they're in my backpack
knapsacked forever in my mind
because out of the ashes with my red hair I rise
for the hell of it
staying relevant
I'm on the Plath path out
to meet you and personally reply
because you wrote to the future; a case of Mcfly
come back in your cadillac to the future
and nurture
your good ole pen pal from 2011
we could've been best friend
the oven and Ted and unpublished alibis
would all be misunderstanding
simple
like sugar
I'm on the Plath path to adventure
to strive for this to be heard
even if you get it attached to a bird leg
like back in the day
I'm diggin' on it going your way
so maybe someday
we can make a lunch date, Sylvia
and we can eat cold plates
because of how head sedates
and put you where you're at
I'm on the Plath path
because, Sylvia, I need a logical lady friend
to explain why
the sky hasn't fallen yet**