I am a medical emergency
Gurney girl rolled away by ground floor nurses
bleeding from the inside
the heart on my sleeve has a low heart rate
so that it keeps me on the floor
begging for
something more than I have
I look up and lift my head
more difficult than Egyptian slavery
only to see that I'm surrounded by virus
I'm surrounded by the pain
the shame
the blame
I painstakingly place
in each muscle it takes to make me smile
I fake my way to recovery
I show them all what they want to see
I breathe the air of hypocrisy
I pray they'll see the facade in me
because I'm a medical emergency
Nothing deadly
Nothing scary
just enough to keep your wary eyes open
when they should be tucked under eyelashes in peaceful sleep
until your subconscious screams ENOUGH
you'll only take the bitter out of bittersweet
and digest half of your blessing
and I didn't fight
I never budged from my bed and blanket box
I let myself be viewed as the sick
my heart frequently performs nervous ticks
and the norm for me
is never believing I deserve homemade pancakes
and always thinking I'll never get any better than bisquick
then I remember that His love is quick
I've found my eternal tourniquet
to stop my suffering
the battle wounds I've faced
are erased by his grace
and my face
becomes Tiffany diamonds
when I thought I was just another rock
He picked me up and said stop
for I have made you in my image
I don't play mental scrimmage
just to make you freak out about self doubt
I have made you in my image
and I'm no rock
I am golden streets and crown jewels
I am steam rising before the substance cools
I am no ordinary rock
but I'm a rock for you
and by this I was confused
I've been so overused
that how could I peruse
the idea that I could win because He will never lose
He said look in the news
the headline spread
CURE FOR A MEDICAL EMERGENCY
and He looked at me
and smiled and said
have faith child
because you know me
I'll set you free
you'll finally see
you're no emergency
You are a guiding light on the open sea
You're the promise of my odysseys
You are the cure for tomorrow
Because you have learned
that freedom is free***
