I Wish I Was Brave

I don't know what to say
as I count day by day
hour by hour
minute by minute
second by second
2 days add up to lifetimes
as my emotions pile up
until I don't even know what I'm supposed to be feeling
my brain is craving pickles and ice cream
while my heart wants one first kiss
I am learning
I am learning
I am learning to let go
but it's so hard
I don't know how to leave
everything that I've achieved
every breath that I have breathed
Every part I know is me
I can't bear to think that I'll miss each moment
that I'll be left out but I won't even know it
that I'll leave my life
but my life will leave me back
So when I come home
no one will care where I'm at
I'll be phased out
I'll be long gone
I'll be on the train I should've been on
life goes on
while I'm still waiting
and thinking
and hoping
and wondering
and praying
I wish I was brave
because I'd say things out loud
My mind would be proud
that I let it all out
as I wove my own shroud
things that cover me
that I will be remembered for
I wish I was brave
because I'd let you know how I feel while I still have the chance
I'd dance
I'd be fearless through circumstance
but I just keep thinking
you'll go on without me
and I'll be far away wishing
I don't know how to leave all that I've made
I'm afraid
I don't know who to be
who is me
I wish I was brave
so you'd notice me
and maybe I could have a dream to take with me
as of right now my wallet's empty
and I'll leave with wishes like pennies
wishing you'd kept me
I wish I could just say what I'm thinking
Because it might make me less afraid
or who knows
I could still be scared
after my soul's been bared
I don't know
although
I do know
that I'd like a dream to take with me
I'll lead
I hope you'll follow