Liar

You never hear the expression lip-tied because it's always your tongue
I've never been conventional
you see I can't even get the words to the tip of my tongue enough for it to be tied
My heart just keeps telling my head, "Hey Kid you lied. You lied to yourself today"
My head gets confused and starts feeling abused by thoughts it was told not to think like the underage temptation of drinks
then my heart keeps crying "liar liar! Don't all these lies make you perspire at some point? Won't you ever tell the truth?"
Lies keep coming like tickets at a booth
that you never paid for
your emotions are never insured
even when your heart keeps screaming about your lies until you're insane
wishing you could hide in everything that's mundane
giving up the chance at adventure and risk
there's nothing here
until you start hearing that voice again and you finally shout
what is my conviction? where do my lies lie? Emotions just hide; they don't die.
You can keep harassing me but I know that you're right
I live every day and I lie every night
not only in my bed but in my own head
Yes, I lie to myself
on a constant basis
I am a liar to all of the familiar faces in my life
Because no one knows that I strive to quit being lip-tied more than anything
I just want to tell you what I mean
When you're on the other line of the phone and all you can say is her name
I can't help but feel anything less than shame
and I tuck away my feelings like dirty magazines under the bed
no one needs to know they're there right? I can just let them gather cobwebs instead.
I can just keep writing poems that no one will read
setting standards that the world just won't heed
being a leader for followers who lead
I am sick with malaria of the mind and alzheimers of the heart
because I force myself to forget that I wanted you
and my heart screams liar
as loud as it can
and I hit the snooze button for five more minutes...